8:15 - Dunk-A Schoen vs. Layup Line Heroes
Team Profile: Dunk-A Schoen
Leading Scorer: Whitney Warren
Nickname in Good Times: The Thank You Kindly Kids
Nickname in Bad Times: Hunk-a Shame
Strengths: Good looks
Weaknesses: Scoring baskets
Playoff Outlook: Iffy
Power Ranking: 5 of 6
Best Fake Player: Anton "The Mean Way" Greenway
Team Profile: Layup Line Heroes
Leading Scorer: Keith Gormley
Nickname in Good Times: LL Cool H
Nickname in Bad Times: Layup Line Zeroes
Strengths: Crunch time scoring
Weaknesses: Any-other-time scoring
Playoff Outlook: Poor
Power Ranking: 6 of 6
Best Fake Player: Argyle Dunhammer
Pertinent Pre-Game Quotes:
Whitney Warren: "I'm just glad we're playing each other."
Keith Gormley: "This will be a holy war...between two very minor religions."
Tom Fleischman: "The stakes are high. Let's be honest, the winner of this game is the immediate favorite in the 5th/6th place game in week 11."
Favorite: Dunk-a Schoen (-6)
9:00 - The Cray's Nest vs. Beast of Burden
Team Profile: The Cray's Nest
Leading Scorer: Lars Rasmussen
Nickname in Good Times: The Motherfucking Bee's Nest
Nickname in Bad Times: What bad times?
Weaknesses: Forgot to sign up for a better league
Playoff Outlook: Ha.
Power Ranking: 1 of whatever.
Best Fake Player: Nigel "Bloody Good" St. Clair
Team Profile: Beast of Burden
Leading Scorer: Ismael Rodriguez
Nickname in Good Times: Feast Side
Nickname in Bad Times: Society's Burden
Weaknesses: Not coming back all the way.
Playoff Outlook: Decent
Power Ranking: 3 of 6
Best Fake Player: Spike the Time-Travelin' Collie from 1936 Indiana
Pertinent Pre-Game Quotes
Jane Rizzo: "Ain't scared. Aint never been scared. Jane Rizzo don't scare."
Robin Luna: "I'm so scared."
Vance Tucker: "I'm healthy, but I might just operate the score board so it doesn't get too ugly."
Favorite: The Cray's Nest (-103)
9:45: Team Fouls vs. The Hospital Bombers
Team Profile: Team Fouls
Leading Scorer: Andrew Weiner
Nickname in Good Times: Dream Howls
Nickname in Bad Times: Loose Bowels
Weaknesses: Ever stepping inside the 3-point line
Playoff Outlook: Bubble-sitters
Power Ranking: 4 of 6
Best Fake Player: Dr. Mordecai Omnibus
Team Profile: Hospital Bombers
Leading Scorer: Geoff Nelson
Nickname in Good Times: Bomb Squad
Nickname in Bad Times: Hospital Bombers (seriously, this name is sick)
Playoff Outlook: Solid
Power Ranking: 2 of 6
Best Fake Player: Jennifer "Stop it, y'all!" Tyler
Pertinent Pre-Game Quotes:
Jake Berkowitz: "Here are three things more disturbing than our team name: Hitler in a bikini, burning children's books in front of actual children, and our defensive strategy against Kyle Ervin."
Kyle Ervin: "I have...I have a concert that evening. A musical performance."
Nate Purinton: "I plan to draw technical fouls against people."
Favorite: Hospital Bombers (-9)